I found the reading by Elder Ballard in his book, Counseling with Our Councils, most interesting. He quotes Brother Rulon G. Craven in his description “of the decision-making process that is followed in meetings of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles” (Page 46) … council together. I found it peaceful and calm. It brought to mind the scripture, “Let all things be done decently and in order.” (1 Cor 14:40) The process as described seemed wonderfully methodical; but not stoic or cold. It came across to me as though each of the members was prayerfully prepared for the council. Not only that, but they had an agenda about what they were to consider during that council prior to their meeting. I think because of these two things, the discussion they each added in-turn to the concern at hand was very thoughtful, non-contentious…(as you would expect it to be among them), and positive.
Each member was respectful of each of the others’ in attendance and they each shared their points of view on the matters at hand. One of the most important points of their council was that by the end of the final discussion on the matter, they are in unanimous agreement on the way the item should be handled. It wasn’t that the majority felt this was the best way to go, or a compromise of any kind, but everyone was in harmony and comfortable with the decision on the issue. That’s really quite remarkable when we often see a chaotic handling of differences on topics in society today.
Thinking about this got me thinking about the benefits we could have in our own families, if we followed the same format in our councils as the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles does in theirs
Having the council topics known by all parties before the council time would allow us to consider them and plan for them; not be caught off guard by them.
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It also would not be rushed because we have set aside the time for it.
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Being spiritually prepared through earnest prayer, repentance, thoughtfulness about the subjects to be discussed, (and a good night’s rest beforehand wouldn’t be a bad idea either ) would help us to consider the topics not which are not only important for our family here on earth, but as a part of our eternal journey. We would be less likely to ‘wing’ our thoughts, and rather bring the Spirit into our discussion.
When we give respect and anticipate respect from others during our councils we are more likely to speak frankly and openly about matters. Prayer beforehand also allows us time to ask for patience and understanding if the topic is possible to be a difficult one. Coming to the council with an open-mind and searching for the best solution to the matter, we are receptive to other’s ideas and not as likely to stay focused on just our own.
Taking one matter at a time and resolving it, we feel a sense of accomplishment and unity with our ‘council’.
And perhaps most importantly, when we council together, we can come to a conclusion that is more comprehensive than if just one person makes the decision for all.
Our family wasn’t so good with having councils when the kids were growing up. We are better now, but still could stand to improve. I find that when we make time to council together, our life runs smoother.
I also found it interesting to find out that the Council of the Twelve Apostles typically has some sort of refreshment (chocolate or pie) to bring further unification to the council members. I’m all for incorporating that into my family councils! How about you?
References:
Ballard, M.R. Counseling with Our Councils. 1997. Chapter 2.
The Holy Bible
Marriage Ponderments 